Andrew Hall Cutler’s Legacy of Healing

andyandkidAndrew Hall Cutler 1956-2017

What do you do when someone passes away who meant so much to you? A beloved teacher and mentor, and yet more than that, because his knowledge, time, and efforts were instrumental in you and/or your child’s ability to function?

The pillars of support have fallen and you feel the weight of his legacy on your shoulders, but you know you must push forward and carry on.  Just as he devoted so much of himself for the sake of others so shall you carry the torch and keep the fire lighting the path to wellness.

Your only comfort is the knowledge that you are not alone.  In the ACC world, there is no shortage of people devoting their time and energy to help others.  Selfless people who have taken as their model a teacher with the same quality.

So now we pause as the community mourns together. But tomorrow we are back to work not allowing the seeds he has sown to blow away in the wind.  No! They will continue to be nurtured and the roots will develop deeper and stronger and a new plant will sprout and this grass roots movement will continue. How do I know that?

Because it MUST!

The lives and futures of so many people depend on it.  Andy spent years devoted to revealing the truth and truth will always find a way.  We will help it, passing it along to anyone who will listen.

So while we no longer have Andy to shoot an email to, we have his books, his words, his wisdom to draw from.  We have an amazing group of administrators and moderators at ACCSG and FAW Detoxing Kids. And we have new books coming out and new projects that were started under his guidance that will be finished.

If you read something from some conspiracy site focusing on the circumstances of Andy’s death, know those people did not know him and they have no insight to his legacy.  They are only trying to gain notoriety for themselves on the back of a tragedy.

I spoke to Andy’s girlfriend on the phone today and she made two things crystal clear to me.

One: that she is as determined as Andy was to continue spreading his knowledge and keeping the books available (albeit with some small delay for regrouping).

Two: that the opportunistic conspiracy theorists can “Go eat dead bugs”.

Following are some words of wisdom from our tireless leader:

Andrew Hall Cutler Why am I supposed to tell you that every opinionated idiot in the world is an idiot? Why not just figure it out for yourself?

Andrew Hall Cutler The most polite and ethical explanation is ignorance. It goes downhill from there.

Andrew Hall Cutler I don’t even read drivel like this. I buy salt at the store. It’s fine. You can get it without the caking agent (aluminum containing) if you want, I usually do but then it cakes ;-), funny how that happens, and I have to smash it up every so often.

Andrew Hall Cutler Ummm… yes, …… Though I must say the ones who proclaim themselves to think the most loudly are the least likely to be doing so. Thinking, of course, carries the inherent risk of changing one’s mind. Whether to argue with an open mind has been the subject of debate since Sophocles and Socrates went at it.

Andrew Hall Cutler Why are you tormenting yourself and finding excuses to engage in self-injurious behavior by obsessively searching the web for things you don’t understand? It’s clear from trying to find the website that originated that quote that it’s being parroted back and forth between quacks and charlatans who don’t really have anything original to say.

Andrew Hall Cutler True. Nobody bothers to trash stuff that doesn’t work. E. g. this is how you can tell the MD world actually DOES know vaccines cause autism. Hundreds of papers pretending vaccines don’t cause autism. Almost no papers looking into whether there is a new infectious agent or new industrial chemical that is causing it – there’s no need to research those, the MD world is completely aware of the actual cause.

Andrew Hall Cutler If someone wants to pose a well-phrased question, I might have an answer. For contaminants that always includes the nature or identity of the suspected contaminant, and if possible concentration or amount.

Andrew Hall Cutler You WILL find websites (incorrectly) claiming that just about anything you want to take is bad for you if you make any reasonable effort to look for them. That’s just the nature of the internet.

Andrew Hall Cutler I do very much appreciate how the discovery that some authority figures are lying through their teeth makes you reasonably want to question everything.

Andrew Hall Cutler I’ll bet you dollars to donuts chelation is the cure doctors don’t want to admit exists. Saying this ( Neuromyelitis) and MS are different is like diagnosing a cold as 2 different diseases depending on whether snot comes out of the right or left nostril first.

Andrew Hall Cutler Once you see something as psychotically delusional as that statement, you can stop reading and forget everything you saw on that website.

Andrew Hall Cutler …….. you are doing something called ‘reasoning.’ It became popular several hundred years ago, leading to the historical change from the ‘dark ages’ to the ‘age of reason.’ Physicians never made the transition. Reasoning is not used in medicine, and in keeping with the origin of the medical guild under the Catholic Church wherein aspiring doctors obtained a theology degree but were not ordained and then turned loose to figure out what to do with sick people, those who engage in reasoning are burned at the stake. Nowadays their licenses are figuratively burned at the stake, their bodies are not literally burned at the stake, so there is SOME progress. But it has not yet extended to reasoning replacing prejudice and emotion in medical dogma.

Andrew Hall Cutler “unproven and can be harmful” Tell them wearing clothes is unproven and can be harmful and you expect them to stop immediately! Ask them to go find a double blind crossover trial of clothes versus nudity before they talk to you again. People get strangled by their clothes, get rashes from it, get burned by it catching on fire, trip on it and fall, etc. all the time. Clothing is obviously dangerous! They should produce some evidence of enhanced health before wearing it. After all, the closest available study is when zookeepers checked on the health histories of animals in cold climates but from warm ones that were either let outside during the winter (e. g. in Toronto) or kept in climate controlled habitats. The critters that got to experience the weather were healthier. This suggests your relatives should all start going naked right away!

Andrew Hall Cutler To answer the head post, “what’s the best way to give back?” I’ll give part of an answer here. It’s actually a complicated question.

One very obvious part of the answer: Tressie and Jan, as well as myself, have put a LOT of time into writing good books that are packed with the information you need. These are far cheaper than anything you’re going to do with a doctor involved. They cost no more than a few bottles of pills. You COULD actually buy them instead of asking us to recite their contents time after time!

Then, of course, you could read them, use them as reference books, and search this list and Onibasu before asking us questions.

When you do ask questions, please provide lots of detail. Spell everything out. Don’t make us spend 20 questions and 2 hours to get enough information to say something sensible.

I’ll demonstrate I’m not all that good a businessman here by saying that OF COURSE Tressie, Jan and I appreciate it if you promote our books and tell people to buy them. However, most of the people will think you’re nuts so you might not want to do it all the time. Also, it seldom does much good to get the books for someone – they’re much more likely to read it if they spent the money than if it was a gift.

I’d love it if you all advocate effectively against the vaccine holocaust and the licensed doctor scam. Different people will think that means different things, I’m not going to discuss it so as to not stir up the list or annoy potential book buyers.

I’m sure others can think of a million other things. On occasion, I may make a request of the list for people who can help with X, Y or Z. Obviously, if you truly can help that’s one time you can return me a favor.

Andrew Hall Cutler ND is like MD, DO, DC, etc. A fraud based scam and a liberal art. The idea that taking people unqualified by background to understand their coursework, having them teach the next set, etc. and indoctrinate them with politically correct drivel then punish the ones who don’t go along with it will lead to progress is insane. Licensure started to prevent women and blacks from being doctors. This is well established in the legislative record. This leads to the arrogance mentioned, and the ability to exclude competent competition. It also allows doctors who criticize the profession to be punished. Dr. Wakefield being a great example of this.

Of course, being incompetent it is quite frightening to race the risk of having to stop doing something they were trained to do and figure out what else to do instead. And due to the trade union like nature of the AMA, doctors have to run up BIG student loans to get to be licensed so they need BIG incomes once they do get into practice or they’re going to be in big trouble. Do note, student loans can not be discharged in bankruptcy.

This is all only slightly less coercive than the Catholic Inquisition was in making sure people “keep the faith.” What doctor wants his license very expensively burned at the stake? They’d rather keep feeding at the trough.

But it sits like a bug in my craw that they don’t take injury seriously, nor administering IV, nor their dangerous chelation methods. They just avoid it on you (because you’re “sensitive)” but keep on doing it to everyone else. They won’t read the book; they don’t want to learn what they don’t want to learn. They don’t want to be smarter than the average bear. And come on, the bar is not that high. Somebody already did the work for them.

What Herd Immunity Really Means

Through The Puzzle

None - This image is in the public domain and ...

I woke up one morning to a news piece on the measles outbreak at a Texas church whose preacher had the audacity to question vaccines.  Apparently there is a huge out break of this devastating disease which is making so many people sick.  Even a 4 month old baby got the disease!!!  Now the church has retracted its view and it is holding vaccine clinics in the church to urge members to get vaccinated.  Good for them. Right?

So now we must get ready for the great herd immunity debate to take place.  My facebook news feed is being inundated with accusations that the unvaxed children are putting the rest of the population at risk.  Normally, I can take these things in stride, as this is a debate of opinion and everyone is entitled to their own opinion.  That is part of what it means to have freedom of speech…

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What Herd Immunity Really Means

None - This image is in the public domain and ...

I woke up one morning to a news piece on the measles outbreak at a Texas church whose preacher had the audacity to question vaccines.  Apparently there is a huge out break of this devastating disease which is making so many people sick.  Even a 4 month old baby got the disease!!!  Now the church has retracted its view and it is holding vaccine clinics in the church to urge members to get vaccinated.  Good for them. Right?


So now we must get ready for the great herd immunity debate to take place.  My facebook news feed is being inundated with accusations that the unvaxed children are putting the rest of the population at risk.  Normally, I can take these things in stride, as this is a debate of opinion and everyone is entitled to their own opinion.  That is part of what it means to have freedom of speech in this country.  Today, however, I do not feel so light-hearted and easy to accept the opinions of others.  Why you might ask?


Because I can see the storm churning in the distance.  I see the politics at play here.  This isn’t about opinion anymore.  This is about basic human rights.  Measles is being likened to small pox as if my unvaxed child is going to cause the downfall of the world.  This make me and him a menace to society.  It seems people listen to these news shows and they swallow all the emotional brainwashing hook line and sinker.  Reasonable people in most spheres of their lives are being convinced with the rhetoric of corporate greed.


I want to give fair warning here, because I am not sure I will be able to control myself if one of these people tried to speak to me in person about the importance of herd immunity.  In my current state I think I might just slap the first person who makes it their duty to educate me.  My child was mercury poisoned.  My child, in fact my entire family, has worked tirelessly to bring my child back from the cocoon created bt his inability to clear heavy metals and other toxins from his system.  Injecting toxins into my child means we will have to begin this process all over again and the past 6 years of hard work will be gone.  With an assault of this type on his system he may very well not ever recover.  Never be able to get a job, to have a family, to stand on his own two feet, or to take care of himself after I die.  Vaccinating my child is the same as murdering his future.  And I will let you in on a little secret:


To me, your child is not worth more than mine.  I refuse to willingly sacrifice my child so that your child doesn’t have to spend a couple weeks in discomfort.


Lets look at the numbers:


Number of deaths from measles prior to the vaccine: Out of the 3-4 million people per year who got measles only about 450 people died (all people, not just children).


Number of deaths from proper use of Rx medications:  100,000 people die each year from properly prescribed medications.


Number os deaths from car accidents: about 35,000 people die each year in car accidents


Number of children who will be diagnosed with autism this year:  With current rate of Autism in this country, approximately 45,000 children born EVERY YEAR will be diagnosed with Autism.  Approximately 662,500 children will be diagnosed with a learning delay EVERY YEAR.  These numbers do not take into account the rise in the rates of Autism each year, so these numbers are actually conservative.


Society has a lot of serious issue to worry about, but measles is not one if them.


I say true herd immunity is only gained by allowing our children to get childhood illnesses:


So you still expect t me to vaccinate my child to save yours?  I say the vaccine doesn’t protect any child from the measles.


I say that if you vaccinate your child, you are putting the rest of society at risk for much worse diseases, and you are causing a strain on the economy because of the increased medical care your unhealthy child will require.


I am sure many people will be offended by my stance on the vaccine issue, and by the fact that I have the audacity to blame the parents of vaccinated children for destroying herd immunity, causing the spread of disease, and harming the US economy.




Avoiding Autism: What to do when you’re pregnant.

We need to know how to help our autistic children.  Just as important is to avoid it in the first place.  Our future depends on our children and we cannot survive if we continue to allow our children to be so severely affected.

How can we avoid something if we don’t know what is causing it?  We ask the question, “What causes autism?”

It’s a loaded topic.  Filled with politics on all sides.

I hear the debate.  Over diagnosis, vaccines, environment, viruses, Lyme, strep, antibiotics, heavy metals or of course my favorite, evolution.  The theories are never-ending.

The more potential for profit, the more skewed the results of the research.

Our children are being lost in the debate.  The longer this discussion lasts, the more time we take to debate the issue, the more children fade.  Time is of the essence here and we as parents are the first defense our children have against this debilitating event.

We alone are the only wall to shield the next generation from imminent disaster.  We are alone to sort out the best thing to do. We are confused.  Frankly, nobody knows what causes autism.

The players?

  • Genetics: meaning there isn’t much we can do about it right?  Our kids are just born this way, or is something affecting the genes?  If so what?
  • Over diagnosis:  You won’t see many parents of autistic children accepting this one.  Politics might sell it to people who do not know Autism, but the rest of us aren’t buying what they are selling.
  • Vaccines:  Probably a contributor, but if it alone were the cause then we would not have unvaccinated Autistic biomed responders ( like my son).
  • Environment:  while our environment is terribly toxic there are certainly times in our history when the environment was easily as toxic (especially around the middle of the industrial age).

There are more, but I will skip to the point since I am not likely to name them all anyway.  I see desperate parents regularly asking how to avoid autism?

My Opinion:

Autism is iatrogenic.  Meaning: caused by doctors.  Not as individuals necessarily, but certainly as part of the larger system.  I am sure people are tired of hearing rantings over big pharma or discussions on the latest trend of diagnosing people with their symptoms (like my cousin, who took her dd to the doctor after she fainted for no clear reason, only to leave the office with a diagnosis of syncope…?).   I could likely write 20 blog entries complaining about our medical system, lol, but you all know me.  I am too much of a fixer to waste that much time on complaining (I reserve most of my ranting for my lovely family).

So what is the solution?

If your pregnant or thinking of getting pregnant I have a few tips I would recommend.

  1. Do not mess with detoxification unless you have about 18 months afterward.
  2. Get back to basics.  Eat good food not pesticide laden, GMO pseudofood.  Real food the way our grandmothers and our great-grandmothers used to cook.  Boil thee bones to make thy soup and other such nutrient dense real food techniques. Avoid artificial ick and additives, MSG, fake sugars, trans fats and hydrogenated oils, high fructose corn syrup, etc…
  3. Take a decent multi-vitamin to make up for what is lacking in our food.
  4. Fish oil is a must when pregnant: High quality fish oil higher in DHA than EPA (1500 mg DHA / 750 mg EPA is good)
  5. Control the toxic load as much as possible.  Don’t choose now to remodel your house.  Don’t use CFLs.  Stay clear of chlorine bleach, and other chemicals, fluoride, fabric softeners, aluminum and non stick cookware, etc…
  6. Above all stay away from Doctors unless it is absolutely necessary.  DO NOT Vaccinate!  DO NOT take Rx Meds!

Doctors treat disease they do not bestow health.  Do not use medication that is my motto. Doctors can run tests, check your health, and clue you in to a possible disease process. They are however, most beneficial when you are well-informed and do your homework.  and if you find a doctor who is annoyed by your desire to be part of the process, RUN!!!

We use vitamins and herbs at the first sign of illness and we seldom need to go to the doc.  I think the old adage, “An apple a day to keep the doctor away,” was right in one regard.

Keeping the doctor away is of utmost benefit to your health!

Did Acetaminophen Provoke the Autism Epidemic?

tylenol bottle closeup

I was invited to view a webinar on a possible connection between Autism and Acetaminophen some months ago.  When I was first told about the next great claim of a definitive cause for Autism, I was skeptical.  I had listened to so many debates on causation and autism.  Honestly, after awhile, the obvious politics involved becomes very tiresome.

I voiced my skepticism, but as this mother proceeded to describe some of the accusations against Acetaminophen (Tylenol), I started to listen more closely.  That is when it hit me.  Unlike all the other causation theories, this could actually explain my child’s Autism and his remarkable improvement through chelation.

You see, my son did not match the typical case histories of othAcetaminophen and Autismer Autistic children.  In fact, I almost failed to pursue biomedical treatments because he did not have a typical story.

My child did not regress.  He never developed normally.  After his diagnosis it became apparent that he was born with Autism.

My child did not have any health problems or frequent ear infections.  In fact the only ear infection and subsequent round of antibiotics he had ever had was at 2.2 years of age, well after his Autism was apparent.

My child was never vaccinated.  I did not receive any vaccines or Rhogam while pregnant.

This was my 5th child.  If his Autism was solely due to my toxic body burden one would expect my previous children to be more affected.

We did not move.  My 3rd child and 4th child were both born and raised in the exact same apartment building as my 5th child.  The environment hadn’t changed.

I really was at a loss and none of the typical biomed explanations quite fit our experience.  Still biomed advocates were proposing using natural safe approaches, like diet modification along with vitamins and other supplements.  These weren’t things that could damage my child, so I really had no reason not to at least give it a go.

We did the GFCF diet and saw improvement.  We did yeast treatments and gut supports, and saw improvement.  He improved on zinc.  He improved on B6.  He improved with almost every intervention we tried.

Then we found AC chelation and he improved to point that most would consider him recovered.  He is in a typical school with typical peers with no supports.  He has friends and has been invited to parties.  In fact, at the end of this year they tested him for the gifted program and determined that he was academically gifted and will start going to an enrichment school one day a week because his typical classroom isn’t quite academically challenging enough.  He is flourishing.  (He does still have some precocious speech and slightly odd gestures but no sign  of Autism.  He was diagnosed with low functioning Autism at age 2.5).

With that kind of drastic improvement with chelation protocol, it was apparent he was metal toxic.  But how?  By now the how didn’t matter much to me.  We left the how question alone to dangle in the wind as we had found the solution, so it didn’t seem important to figure out exactly how the problem started or what the cause could have been.

Never the less the question always dangled, it never totally disappeared from our minds.

Insert the Acetaminophen theory.

You know what was different about my 5th child’s med history?  I was over due and very uncomfortable during my last trimester.  It was so bad that I could not even get two full hours of sleep per night.  I was miserable and exhausted.  My midwife was concerned about whether I would have the energy to mount a proper labor and delivery.  I asked her if there was anything safe I could take while pregnant to help me sleep.  ( I just knew her answer would be no).  She said yes and came back with an Rx for Tylenol 3 with codeine.

I told her I thought it was over kill, “I am uncomfortable but I am not in pain.  I just need some sleep.”

She said that it didn’t cross the placental wall and that although I didn’t need the pain relief, it was the only thing they could give me that was safe for my baby.

I took Tylenol 3 almost every night for 2 weeks.

Quote from article:

Acetaminophen taken during pregnancy may provoke autism present at birth…

Finally, a possible explanation for what we had experienced.  The Tylenol I took may have interfered with his ability to detox environmental toxins as well as impaired his brain function and immune system.  The toxins his body built up could be responsible for the rest.  Is this truth or theory?

At this point it is only theory.  But it is the first theory that had a chance of explaining what we saw, and the research is convincing.  It is solid enough that I would never give Tylenol to another child.  I would recommend all children and pregnant mothers avoid Tylenol and other acetaminophen containing products.  Until more research is done it only makes sense to be cautious.

I have to fix this, me and only me (cont.)

continued from post

(Religious Post Follows)

As I said in my earlier post.  I was teetering on the brink….. of what?  Who knows, but it was not going to be pretty.

Some people have tons of friends.  I on the other hand could never be described as Ms popularity.  I can always find people to chat with, but I do not make many real friendships.  You know…. the ones with substance.  Over the years I have been blessed with a few wonderful people in my life though.

My very good friends (the ones I truly value) are the people who can tell me when I am not thinking straight.  When I am making mistakes.  They are the ones who care enough to give me a dose of reality when I seriously need it.  (Even if I don’t want it).  Here’s hoping you all have friends like that.

Well, I was talking to one of my best friend during this time and I will never forget the impact of her words.  I think she saved my life.

In a nutshell she said, “Who do you think you are anyway?”

“What makes you think you have the power to fix anything?”

“Don’t you think that’s just a little arrogant?”

She was so right.  I had lost sight of the truth.  I can not control the future. I can not fix my child. I do not hold the key to life or health or anything else in the palm of my hand.  I can not cure.  And my child’s future was written long before any of us even existed.  That thought was so comforting.  The extreme pressure that I was feeling was instantly gone. This is God’s plan.  It is divine decree.  We give the supplements, but God cures.

But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thingand it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not” [Qur’an 2:216]

Indeed Autism has been one of the best things that could have happened to our family.  I say that knowing full well how much I hate it.  But God has granted us healing and we have found the way out.  Every member in my family has benefited, all six of my children, even my husband (who is also chelating).  And in this process, I have been blessed with the ability to help families all over the globe.  I pass on this information, just as it was passed on to me, and there is hope for the future of our children, by the will of God.  Al Hamdulillah!

Mr. Sandman, You are cordially invited to…….. move in.

Sleeping baby

Ok so baby number one (working mom)?  He was sleeping through the night by 6 months of age, potty trained at a year and 1/2, broke of the bottle, the Binky, and the crib all in a very timely manner.

Baby number two (working and back to school)?  getting up once in the night for a drink from the tippy cup until 2.5 yr, diaper at night sure, but all else… timely.

Baby number three didn’t sleep through the night until I was pregnant with baby number four.  Freaked out and broke her of night wakings in a couple of months.

Baby number four, I can’t even remember I was too traumatized by baby number five.  (can you say bad mom?)  Probably got her to sleep through the night while preg with baby number five seems to be a pattern by now.

Baby number five?  Say hello to Autism.  Night terrors, won’t fall asleep until midnight, up again at 4am, back to sleep at 7am?  Really?  Three years later we are graced with the unexpected baby number six.

So one is up every two hours and the other sleeps only 4 hours per night.  Now Mommy becomes caffeinated ……. for survival.

We have finally solved number five’s sleep issues (can you say adrenal/ thyroid?).  Baby number six is now a child of three who is “mostly” sleeping through the night.

Now we chelate every weekend, and anemic Mom drinks a pot+ of coffee daily to function, lol.  and I call myself a health coach…  Do what I say not what I do?

Hey, did you know the latest research says coffee is a great antioxidant?  Ya, that’s why I drink it.

But seriously wondering if I will ever again see a decent night’s sleep?


Autism Idioism: “Some kids just grow out of it.”

Subject: Quinn, a boy with autism, and the lin...

Yes I did just make up a word.  Guilty.

But what would you call a commonly expressed statement made about Autism as if it is fact when it is purely fiction and often rude to boot?

Idiom: A form of expression natural to a language, person, or group of people

Ism: A distinctive practice, system, or philosophy, typically a political ideology.

Idiot: A stupid person.

I am sure you all have a host of unintelligible statements people have made about your child or Autism in general.  I am usually pretty patient with the ignorance but sometimes it just crosses the line.

I was talking to a parent about my sons amazing progress with chelation.  I was explaining that regardless of the politics and double blind peer-reviewed studies doctors need in order to “treat” our children, we as parents can decide if something is helpful based on observation.  That based on the amazing benefits we have seen with chelation it is quite apparent that he had heavy metal poisoning.

That is when another parent felt the need to join the conversation just to tell us about her friend’s child who just grew out if his Autism.  She said that is probably what was happening to my son.  Unbelievable.  What is even more unbelievable is that I have actually had two unrelated people at two separate times make this same suggestion, lol.

Another Autism idioism we hear all the time is that the quiet, quirky kid we sat next to in school was probably Autistic, but they weren’t as good at diagnosing it back then.  (It was actually my son’s pediatrician who said this to me).  One problem with that theory, I do not recall that quirky kid ever flipping out, screaming, throwing things, then hitting, scratching, and biting any teacher who tired to contain him just because someone moved his eraser.  Thanks to chelation we no longer see these total meltdowns, but they were so much a part of our daily lives I can not imagine someone suggesting my son could have ever gone undiagnosed.  No, that quirky kid did not look anything like my son.

Do any of you have Autism Idioisms you’d like to share?



I have to fix this, me and only me

Like I said in another post,  I found his autism by searching the web for a friend.  So now what?

Well the search was on, the hours and days of reading and research.  It was consuming me.  I had to find the answer.  Of course my dh was in complete denial.  Like most fathers he didn’t want to hear it.  (He is completely on board now, but this was in the beginning).

I couldn’t eat, barely slept.  I was running on adrenaline.  I was making appointments trying to get him into ABA therapy (getting on waiting lists),  searching biomed sites, joining yahoo groups.

It is so hard to understand biomed from disconnected posts on yahoo.  I went to the library, checked out books etc…

I didn’t even give myself time to let it sink in.  As usual I went straight from: we have a problem…. to… find the solution.  There was no time to mourn for the lost future.  There was no time to breathe.

And I was alone.  There was no doctor to help.  I had no friends who had been there before.  No family members to tell me to slow down (I do not live in the same state as my family they are many miles from us).  Just the weight of my child’s future on my shoulders.  All I felt was urgency, I wouldn’t even let the fear in.  My baby had fallen off the edge of a cliff and I had to find a way to catch him before he hit the ground.  I was a robot running on coffee and determination.  And the stress was about to devour me.

(to be continued)


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